San Jose's Darlings Excerpt #2

     As a means of distraction, I picture myself kneeling at the banks of a stream running through a lush forest. I gaze at the water as a leaf flows past. Something underneath the water (or is it a reflection of sunlight?) grabs my attention as another leaf bobs across my line of sight and disappears into the distance. My troubled thoughts pass through me and float downstream, becoming far removed from me before disappearing altogether. This is what it means to let go. My heart rate slows, and muscles unclench. The radiance in the water isn’t from the sun: something lies just underneath the surface, something that grates against every nerve throughout my body and mind. A warmth, matching the luminescence I see, blossoms inside my chest. I reach towards the water. Before my fingertips can graze the surface, I am enveloped by darkness.